As I look back on 2022-

Sometimes I ask myself – am I a goal oriented person? Am I more productive with a task that needs to be completed? Do I celebrate when projects are finished? I am not totally sure. What I do know is I like a planner. Nope, correction- I LOVE a planner. Different colored pens, empty pages and a blank calendar to fill out is my jam.

I wanted to think I have well thought out plans – I planned IT and this is the way IT is going to be/go/happen. If IT doesn’t be/go/happen that way why are we even doing it at all? My way or the highway.  BUT I am now coming to grips with being the fly by the seat of my pants type of gal. There are moments, a week or two at a time that I am on the ball. But then that fades. I have lofty goals of things I want to do, but they don’t always get done.

This is the year that I have decided I am okay with that. Instead of looking back at the things that didn’t get done – baseboards still not painted and the Muscle-Ups I had in the Open one year is still hibernating – I am moving forward with all of the things that did.

I meditated more than I didn’t. 

I ate a piece of chocolate cream pie the other night without shame. 

I have a better relationship with my extended family that I let fall by the wayside over the years.

I am on the path of learning my value in this world.

My tasks to be done in my planner are more like a drunken word cloud and I LOVE it. And I am going to stop calling it a planner, because it is definitely a journal. It charts where I have been and what I want to do moving forward. 

For the things that didn’t get done, I draw a big old arrow over them and forward them to the next week. For the things I do get done – I highlight, draw hearts on and celebrate on the paper. Sometimes I even write in something I did that wasn’t on there just to cross off. accomplished it, and I didn’t even plan to. That is worth a purple star to me. 

I am not telling you to not plan. I am not telling you to throw your goals away. I am telling you that the things that work for others might not work the best for YOU. I am telling you to be kind to yourself. The end of the year is always when we look back and say “I didn’t ________________ enough.” Go to the gym, tell someone I loved them, supported your family, eat enough veggies. Fill in that blank anyway you want.

Guess what? Another year is right around the corner and your journal/planner is blank and ready to be filled in. Before you make some goals to accomplish moving forward, maybe look inward to see what you have already done and are proud of. 

I will get that Muscle-Up back. It might get forwarded each week, but I will keep trying.

Acceptance does not mean failure.

Change doesn’t have to be bad nor does it have to be final. 

Though acceptance of change can blow your mind.